Thursday, May 11, 2006

lazy afternoon

at this second, i should have had my 2nd round with the colleagues, but i just don't feel like going. Normally i'm the 1st one suggest n agree on 2nd round. but today, I didn't join, I need my own space. *a bit abnormal hor?* I don't think i can click with them talking "adult" thingy. For them, I'm just a little kid.

Now, I feel like putting down my mask, I don't want go sit there for smiling, nod head n laugh although facing ppl that i'm not close with. I'm sitting alone facing n creat my post with no body around. *talking to myself*

I know I should learn to accept the fact, reality. I think I'm a negative thinker. ppl can actually act nothing happen when they are hurted, betrayed or cheated. In their heart, they know who is the "TRUE" one. In fact, I can act, but i just don't feel like doing it!!! It's damn san fu!!! Once in a while, i will still act, wear different mask when seeing different ppl. I called it "survival skill". If i can "see open" things will be much much much more simple. *learning*
I think they will be back soon, it's time for me to apply "survival skill" :P hehehe.....

2 comments:

shovia said...

Noone like wearing mask like that perhaps. Not both of us. But reality pull our face and sealed on us. We are the fairies in a tale. We can only live in tale but tale live in fantacy. (you get what I mean) What we could do is to get ourselves own fairy. I think you got one and I am still hunting. Pray hard...

Be cool baby! We will be the SurViVor!

elooon said...

hehe... learning hard to survive le..!! u too!! gambateh!!